Monday, 5 March 2012


Hey there little bloggie people of blog land.  I'm so sorry I abandoned you for so long.

I don't really know what happened, I just got all busy and that, and then MM came home and hogged the computer all weekend, so my poor little blog world got neglected.  I suck, I know.  I'll write loads now to make up for it and bore the pants off you.  You'll be longing for the days of silence. 

So anyway, what did you all get up to over the weekend?  Mine was quite busy, at least by my standards.

On Friday I went out to dinner with some friends (who aren't really friendly friendly friends, but more an extended group of people that I know by name, you know?  No?  Oh well, just me then).  I had a surprisingly good time, given I didn't really know any of them particularly well.  We went to Prezzo and boy were we LOUD!!! Luckily we were in a private room, but seriously, the moment we sat down, it seemed like a contest for who could shout the loudest.  My ears were ringing by the end.  Oh, and I won the contest ultimately.   Of course.  I always do.  If in doubt...shout! :)

I was also rocking my new(ish) dress I had bought from a local charity shop for £4.50.  If there's one thing I love about this recession (and let's be honest, there's not much) it's the fact that it is now a point of pride amongst girls as to how cheap you can buy a decent outfit.  I'll take your new flowery jumpsuit from Primark for £11.99 and raise you one second hand, but totally looks new, H&M dress from CancerResearch for £4.50!  Hell yeah, bitch.  (I don't speak like that by the way, before you all send hate mail.  But my fingers certainly type that way, and they do the talking on here. So 'ave it.  Punks.)

So, awesome dress, awesome food and funny people (at least from what I could make out of the conversation amongst all the shouting) = decent Friday night.  They were also really sweet and didn't make me chip in for the alcohol portion of the bill.  I wouldn't have minded, as I did have a glass of wine (just one as I was driving) but they wouldn't let me and 'bought me out' at the last minute.  I was strangely touched.  Generosity is surprisingly rare, especially amongst people you aren't that close to.

So....then Saturday.  I gardened.  If you read this and you know me, you just fell over from shock.  I'll wait while you collect yourself.  OK now?  Good. 

Yeah, I'm kinda on this healthy eating, saving money and (more recently) saving the planet kick.  It won't last long I'm sure.  My fads rarely do.  But in the meantime, I may do something horrific like blog about bamboo socks or some-such nonsense.  I ask that you bear with me during this difficult time.

So, given I live on a farm like property (read: lots and lots of outdoor space) with my mother who LOVES gardening, and since I resent giving my hard earned cash to the massive corporations who frankly need it less than me, I decided to have a stab at growing my own veg.  Actually, I decided this sometime last year.  Probably about the same time I decided to clear my desk.

[Quick update: my desk currently looks like this:

Yes, that's a robot at the front there.  What's your point?]

So, I finally had the motivation to garden and it happily coincided with a lovely sunny day.  After it had stopped raining of course.  So I went outside and whined at my mother to teach me to grow bountiful goodness, until she stopped what she was doing and showed me.  Then I asked how to garden without getting dirt under my fingernails and she gave me a look that suggested I may have been swapped at birth with another baby, and where, oh dear god where, was her real daughter.  Because my mum is the kind of gardener who thinks you're a sissy if you wear gloves, let alone worry about dirt under your fingernails.

So we got over that little speed bump and I started gardening.  I will now demonstrate the important steps to an enjoyable gardening experience:

1.  Watch Gok on Channel 4 until the rain stops.  Learn how to "Look Good Naked". 

2. Whine at experienced gardener that you don't know what you are doing or how to set anything up, until they give in and practically do everything for you.  Works best on a parent or close relative.

3.  Ensure that you have spent at least three-six months threatening to garden and demanding space from your poor mother/experienced gardener so that they have already done the hard work, and made you beautiful, well fertilised planting beds.  You then say, "Oh, you shouldn't have.  I would have done that.  Thank you".  Really, it's only polite, people.

4.  Put the kettle on the gas hob to boil. 

5.  Arrange yourself in a suitably sunny spot, and have seed trays and seeds nearby (brought to you by your mother, so you don't have to get up).

6.  Remember you have left the kettle boiling and dash inside.  Curse inwardly as other members of the family demand a brew and you realise you will need to refill the kettle with more water.  Put the refilled kettle back on the hob to boil.

7.  Plant seeds thinly in seed trays filled with suitable compost.  Wet compost first.  Do not forget Every. Single. Time. to do this. 

8.  Suddenly remember kettle is boiling and dash inside again.  Make cuppa's for all demanding and unreasonable family members, and one for yourself.

9.  Reposition yourself in the sun.  Slowly drink tea and wonder why you have never gardened before.  It's fabulous.

So that was my Saturday folks.

And on Sunday?  Well on Sunday it snowed.  WTF right?! So MM and I did nothing and chilled out.  Lovely jubbly.

green-fingeredly(?) yours,

firefly xxx

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