Tuesday, 31 January 2012

So sad

Hmmm.  Not loving today. 

Kipper went home last night.  Was so so sad to see her go.  She's the most awesome little dog and I miss her so much. 

And the heating is broken at the office today.  And it's snowing outside.  My toes are numb and I'm typing this wearing mittens.  Seriously.  I didn't even think it would be possible to type in mittens.  But necessity is the mother of experimentation.  Or something along those lines... 

So.  To recap.  No dog.  No heating.  Today sucks. 

That is all.

miserably yours,

firefly x

Wednesday, 25 January 2012


Allow me to introduce you to possibly the most soppy dog in existence. 

She's staying with me for a week while MM's mum is on holiday and we're having a blast.  Admittedly she's dragged three tons of dirt into the house and she smells (sssh, not too loud, it'll hurt her feelings) but I love every second we spend together. 

Meet Kipper:

This is her a while ago when she was a little more sleek.  This is her today:

Straggly and adorable.  More adorable.  No, actually, probably more straggly.  Actually, it's a pretty even race.  Straggly and adorable.  Kinda how I like to think of myself first thing in the morning when I'm staggering around with my bed-head.  Although, I'm almost definitely more straggly than adorable.  Ah well. 

I have never met a dog that gives more love.  But she's completely indiscriminate.  When we go for a walk, she'll run up to people, like a lot of dogs do.  But she doesn't jump up.  She doesn't bark at them.  No, she runs up to them and then curls round their feet, begging for a tummy rub.  I've had to lift her up and carry her away before, because she refuses to get up.  Silly animal.  It's embarrassing!  People must think I give her no tummy rubs at home.  Trust me, she gets plenty!   She's very persuasive.

On my less sleek and shiny days (which are few and far between, obviously) MM calls me "Kipper-ish!  Which I'm not sure is intended as a compliment.  But when she's as cute as this:

...how can "Kipper-ish" be a bad thing? Hmm?  

firefly x

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Where's all the drama?

Seriously.  I mean it.

MM and I are currently negotiating a long distance relationship.  He started a new job and they stole him for a year to live in a different part of the country (without even consulting me!). 

Admittedly he's only about an hour away, so it could be much worse, but it was quite a shift in dynamic given that we were used to being in each other's pockets.  When I realised that a long distance relationship was going to be inevitable for a while I, true to form, panicked.  What if it changed us?  How would we cope?  Was this the END??  MM, true to form, shrugged and said, "I'm sure it'll be fine".  The man is incapable of drama. 

This, to me, is incredible.  I thought that the Drama (that's right, I gave it a capital) was an absolute necessity in a relationship and I have previously had two very long term relationships, that were based on little else.  Take my most recent relationship before MM.  There was screaming, crying, throwing of things and by both parties to boot.  And we did this to each other for four and a half exhausting and heart rendering years. 

Then MM.  And suddenly there was peace.  I would cry and panic and wail, "How will we cope?"  "Where is this going?" and all the usual, dignified cliches that intelligent, independent women are never supposed to say.  And he would shrug and say, "I don't know but I'm sure it will be fine."

At first I was a bit stumped and (I kid you not) I didn't know how to deal with the lack of Drama.  I was well versed in relationship Drama.  I could storm out of a room with the best of them.  I could do a great rendition of, "You've ruined my life!"  Oscar worthy performances, trust me.  And then, with MM, I was suddenly without this.  For a while (and I can't believe this is true) I thought there was something wrong!!  Yup, a relationship without angst and heartache and, well let's face it, misery, just couldn't be real could it?  Clearly we were wrong for each other. 

But, fortunately, I realised that maybe, just maybe, the lack of crying, and misery and heartache might, someday, produce something along the lines of happiness.  I decided to risk it!  As an example of how drama free my life now is, I give you last night's telephone conversation.  I had nothing to say.   My day had been dull and uneventful.  As had his.  So we hung up and left it at that.  Pre-MM, the next few hours would have been spent disecting why conversation hadn't flowed.  How, clearly the distance was impacting our closeness.  God help us, we were drifting apart and it was all going wrong before my very eyes!  And then I would have text my significant other, apologising profusely for being such a terrible conversationalist and all round rubbish girlfriend. 

Instead, I text MM this:  "We're rubbish aren't we."

MM:  "Yup." 

And that was that.  No drama.  It happens sometimes and today we talked for ages about nothing at all really. 

But I wanted to take a moment and just be grateful for all the angst this incredible man saves me, simply because he doesn't do drama.  I recommend it, throughly. 

Peacefully yours,

firefly xx

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Time to share

Should you ever be in any doubt as to the true meaning of irony, allow me to shed some light here folks.

Remember the photo I posted last time, where I possibly gave you a little too much insight into my housekeeping skills?  You know the one I mean.  THIS one:

 (I'm gonna sort this space out in the next few weeks, I swear! Ooo, look, another New Year's resolution.  They're just popping up everywhere.)  
So now I've refreshed your memory of the sheer horror that is my desk, please now allow me to share a moment of beautiful irony in my life:  See the arrow in the picture below?

Got it?  Can you just about see a very small amount of green and red writing buried under that postcard that someone sent me 2 years ago?  Yes?  Good.  It happens to be a book.  There is a book, in fact, buried under all that clutter.  Interesting?  No, not really.  But, and here's the good bit, the title of that book just so happens to be "No More Clutter".  

I kid you not. Irony, my friends.  It's a beautiful thing.  

firefly x

Saturday, 14 January 2012

And her name is Holga...

So, having "blogged" for the first time yesterday, I was super proud of myself.  Of course, no one will be reading but I'm out there!  Hi Internet! 

I asked MM (my other half) if he would care to make up 100% of my readership.  His response went something along the lines of, "I listen to you babble on constantly in person, why on earth would I wish to read the rubbish that runs through your mind as well?!".  Fair point I suppose.  I offered to let him choose his own moniker for the blog in trade for him actually reading it.  However, because he is a man and therefore is,  and always will be, a child, he chose a ridiculously rude nickname, which took me ages to get. Duh.  Along the lines of I. P. Freely.  Only worse.  So MM he is, and he won't be part of my vast readership.  Such is compromise in a long term relationship! 

So, as I said, I had ventured into the large and scary void that is the Internet.  Then I spent all of today wondering how often I should blog.  Should I just blog on weekdays when I'm bored at work (sssshh, no, I would never do that) or should I only blog every other day for fear of running out of things to say. Then I laughed out loud.  Run out of things to say???!  Me?  Nope.  Hasn't happened yet and I'm fairly sure that several members of my family are praying everyday that it happens soon.  Please, God, shut her up.  In fact, it's been said to my face on more than one occasion.  And yet, here I am, sharing the joy with the whole world now.  Enjoy Internet.  It's gonna be special. 

Here I am then, blogging away.  I shouldn't be blogging.  I should be dealing with this:

That should be my desk.  Should.  And I should be clearing it.  Should.  But blogging is more fun.  

I had a point for this post, believe it or not. Holga.  You see, I got the most awesome present from MM this year. (Yes, he has redeeming features.  Many.  It's just a mature sense of humour isn't one.)  It's a camera.  I asked for it, but he picked the colour and he picked my favourite so it's just damn perfect.  This is my baby:

Yup, she's plastic.  Yup, she's blue!  I think she's beautiful.  And I don't care whether you judge me for calling a camera "she".  Her name is Holga (although I didn't name her).  Now, she is really quite special.  A bit of 'cult' camera, if such a thing exists.  I came across her on RockstarDiaries (I love that blog).  She takes amazingly special, dreamy pictures.  You actually have to use film!  Anyone remember what film is?  She's an old school version that doesn't even take regular film, so I have to buy it special, like.  As I loaded the film on Christmas Day, my sister looked at me like I was performing surgery!  Being six years younger than me, she has never loaded a film in her life.  And then MM's little sister later asked me how she could see the photos I had just taken of her.  Bless her.  She's five though, so I'll let her off. 

Anyway, here's the problem.  I am no photographer (as can probably, ironically, be seen from the photo I have taken of the camera!).  And I am definitely no Holga photographer.  She is capable of taking beautiful photos like this: http://microsites.lomography.com/holga/galleries.  Gorgeous huh?  However, I couldn't even work out when I was on the first frame.  So I took 5 or 6 photos, barely winding it on each time, terrified I was going to run out of film.  Then....I got to the first frame!  Ooops.  So the first photos I took into my foray in the world of Holga photography are all on top of one another.  Nice one! Haha!  I will share the results with you when I have developed them.  Good or bad, you will get to see my efforts.  Lucky you, eh? I know you just can't wait. 


Friday, 13 January 2012

2012 here goes...

Well... a New Year! Sort of.  As long as it's January, I can still say that right?  Right.  Good.

So:  a New Year, a new start, a new blog.  Wonder how long this will last!  It's the latest of my "really good ideas".  Ha!  

Friday 13th.  An inauspicious day to start a blog.  I learnt something today.  I learnt that I don't have "friggatriskaidekaphobia".  Handy huh?  (Actually, since I just had to Google this, I clearly didn't learn it after all.  Ah well.) 

10 points to anyone who knows what this is.  Without Googling it, like me. 

Any clues?  No?  Apparently it's a phobia of Friday the 13th.  A real thing ladies and gents.  Who knew?!

And, as I said, I don't have it!  Yay.  *Pause while you all cheer.  Hello...anyone there...?* 

Anyway, I do, however, have a massive phobia of heights.  It's the only thing I can really class as a phobia.  There's lots of things I don't LIKE.  I don't like spiders (my mum bought me an awesome spider catcher years ago.  It's saved my life.  Literally.  Ok, ok, not literally), I hate earwigs - seriously, why do they exist?  Ugh.  And I'm not crazy about flying.  It's the whole, "potentially crashing to my death thing", I have issues with.  But they don't paralyse me with fear. 

Heights, however.  Oh boy.  I forget how to breathe!  And just when I need to feel solid and stable, my legs turn to jelly and I shake.  A lot. Oh and I cry.  It's fun! I recommend it.  Not!

But this is the year that I've decided enough is enough.  Last year, I freaked out on Brighton Pier after my sister helpfully pointed out, "Oh look.  You can see the water through the cracks in the floorboards!".  Cue me clinging to the metal poles in the middle, trying to remember how to walk.  Or breathe.  Or stop crying.  Logical?  No.  Dignified? Hell no.  So it has to be addressed.  And my genius plan is this:  www.goape.co.uk/

Fun huh?  I feel sick looking at it.  However, my other half (we'll call him MM) would LOVE this.  And in theory I think it looks like a great time.  If I can get over the fact that it's in the tree tops. *Gulp*.  But I'm determined will power will win through and maybe I'll crack my fear of heights once and for all.  It's closed for January so I have a stay of execution, but this year, I swear, IT WILL BE DONE!  Oh.  Look at that, a New Year resolution.  And I thought I didn't have any!

Well that's it for now.  I do tend to ramble.  So now I should probably stop!