Thursday, 19 January 2012

Where's all the drama?

Seriously.  I mean it.

MM and I are currently negotiating a long distance relationship.  He started a new job and they stole him for a year to live in a different part of the country (without even consulting me!). 

Admittedly he's only about an hour away, so it could be much worse, but it was quite a shift in dynamic given that we were used to being in each other's pockets.  When I realised that a long distance relationship was going to be inevitable for a while I, true to form, panicked.  What if it changed us?  How would we cope?  Was this the END??  MM, true to form, shrugged and said, "I'm sure it'll be fine".  The man is incapable of drama. 

This, to me, is incredible.  I thought that the Drama (that's right, I gave it a capital) was an absolute necessity in a relationship and I have previously had two very long term relationships, that were based on little else.  Take my most recent relationship before MM.  There was screaming, crying, throwing of things and by both parties to boot.  And we did this to each other for four and a half exhausting and heart rendering years. 

Then MM.  And suddenly there was peace.  I would cry and panic and wail, "How will we cope?"  "Where is this going?" and all the usual, dignified cliches that intelligent, independent women are never supposed to say.  And he would shrug and say, "I don't know but I'm sure it will be fine."

At first I was a bit stumped and (I kid you not) I didn't know how to deal with the lack of Drama.  I was well versed in relationship Drama.  I could storm out of a room with the best of them.  I could do a great rendition of, "You've ruined my life!"  Oscar worthy performances, trust me.  And then, with MM, I was suddenly without this.  For a while (and I can't believe this is true) I thought there was something wrong!!  Yup, a relationship without angst and heartache and, well let's face it, misery, just couldn't be real could it?  Clearly we were wrong for each other. 

But, fortunately, I realised that maybe, just maybe, the lack of crying, and misery and heartache might, someday, produce something along the lines of happiness.  I decided to risk it!  As an example of how drama free my life now is, I give you last night's telephone conversation.  I had nothing to say.   My day had been dull and uneventful.  As had his.  So we hung up and left it at that.  Pre-MM, the next few hours would have been spent disecting why conversation hadn't flowed.  How, clearly the distance was impacting our closeness.  God help us, we were drifting apart and it was all going wrong before my very eyes!  And then I would have text my significant other, apologising profusely for being such a terrible conversationalist and all round rubbish girlfriend. 

Instead, I text MM this:  "We're rubbish aren't we."

MM:  "Yup." 

And that was that.  No drama.  It happens sometimes and today we talked for ages about nothing at all really. 

But I wanted to take a moment and just be grateful for all the angst this incredible man saves me, simply because he doesn't do drama.  I recommend it, throughly. 

Peacefully yours,

firefly xx

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